Every single time I meet someone new I ask myself the same question: “Will this one be different?” Will this be the one who breaks the cycle? Have we learned nothing as a community in almost thirty years?
Since I began my reign as the grim reaper only one, yes one (1), person has pulled out a condom and one other asked if I was positive (I assumed he meant if I was happy) so I replied “No”. I was having a bad day and at the time it seemed like an odd question since we were about to go at it, I mean, God forbid I or anyone else lie. After all we did meet over three hours ago online and had a real “connection” (if that’s what you want to call it).
This new guy was fun. I met him while shopping at my Alma Martyr, Neiman Marcus. I was in the dressing room trying on a fabulous Gucci shirt and a few other new arrivals and he walked into my dressing room by “accident”. I usually do not try on clothes, but the shirt was a size 16, which in Gucci lingo means my chest might not fit (for some reason these designers make “A” line shirts, and I am a “V”, must be an Italian thing, Northern I’m sure).
I guess it did not help that I left the door ajar and my pants were off. Twenty minutes later (and keeping my personal shopper out of the room) it was over. It wasn’t a difficult task, I am a Black In-Circle Member and the VIP dressing suites are in the formal wear department.
It was very raw. We had to go old school… I was just glad I was hungry (helps with the salivation) and other than shoving his face into a Dolce & Gabbana Jacket a few times (I hate moaners) everything was just peachy. A sticky undershirt (his) and 3,200.00 later it was all over. It was different, unique. There was no need for the introduction, the smiles and that “Interested” look which I despise so (You know, looking at them like you’re interested or they are interesting). Although the world is my stage, I hate acting sometimes.
Another member added to the roster of my growing clan of the undead. He was guaranteed a ticket (the absence of lube). It was very prison break, OZ chic… very exciting in a nasty, cell block 32 sort of way.
Well, another day, another victim: # 329 (since 2000)
