Allow me to introduce myself…

My name is Sebastian, Sebastian Alzmek, and I will be that new song that plays in your heart. Those crazy, sophisticated and beautiful melodies that will hypnotize you the instant your eyes meet the mirror into my soul.  At least the place my soul used to occupy.

I will meet you and smile.  The reflection you see in my dazzling grin will make you feel extraordinary. I will make you feel higher than the sky. You will be so elevated that you will swear you could fly.  I will be your every fantasy. I will be the figment of your imagination.  A manifestation of your dreams and desires, everything you ever wanted, and more.

I am you. I am everything you ever wanted.  Everything you desire.

One day we will cross paths on the street, in a train, at a red light. You my friend are one of the fortunate ones. You will have an opportunity to be mesmerized by my aura and I might even wink at you, provoking your mind.  I will make you want to reach across the room and scream my name, a name you have yet to hear.  A name you will want to know.

For those less fortunate souls, we will see each other in a nightclub, a bar or on the technological superhighways of the internet, my proverbial street corner.  When we cross paths you will have the opportunity to touch me, feel me and inhale the essence of Sebastian.  The scent will usurp every fantasy in your mind.  It will be Love at first sight.  At least it will be for you. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I will love you too.  At least I will for that hour or two before I take away your self-worth.  The instant before I steal the sparkle in your eyes.

When I take your breath way, literally…

I will crush whatever self-respect you have left for yourself when you realize that everything I told you was as true as the smile that lured you in.  Everything was a lie. A fairy tale you thought would come true the instant you saw my castle.  My European magic carpet you wanted to a maneuver through time.  The imaginary moment in time that reflected on a shinny Roadster that took you for a ride.

I will answer all your questions as I tell you nothing.

I will touch you without feeling a single thing.

You are nothing.

Meeting me will change your fortune, or in this case, your misfortune.  You will never be the same person.  In fact, you will no longer be a person.  You will be defined by a condition.  A disease that will mark you for the rest of your life as a second class citizen, dirt, scum and mud will be on your new found level of social acceptance.  That is if you are lucky.

If you’re one of the unfortunate souls walking this earth with out a clue, and let me tell you, there are many of you, you will discover your new condition when it is too late. You will discover your fate when you’re half-dead, riddled with deterioration and at deaths door.  You will have enough time to plan your funeral and pick out your headstone as you decide who will carry your body through church.

You might even have enough time to repent for your sins and beg God for forgiveness.

However, you do have options. One of them, the most obvious, is to live like I do.  Like a whisper in the middle of the night.  I know I am one of the fortunate ones who walk this earth undetectable.  I am untouchable, unmarked, unscathed.  This in turn makes me very dangerous, a hazard to your health. You see, disclosure is not an option for me. I will take as many of you with me that I possibly can. 

I know I am not going to the pearly gates up above. My halo has long since been tarnished as the last of my wings feathers fall to the ground. No matter what I do in my remaining years, my pact with “Red” will expire soon and I have to take as many of you with me as I can. Like the saying goes, when thrown lemons… suck it and don’t go out without a fight.

I and death have a very odd relationship and I honestly believe that after 17 years death fears me.  I am no longer afraid. The moment, the instant, I became valiant I freed myself of this stigma that plagues so many.  The day I accepted that death is my reality, I embraced it.  I caressed it.  I loved it.

Death is beautiful.  Death is becoming. Death is unavoidable.

And so am I…   

I will catalog the life events which make me infallible.  The moments in time that makes me memorable. I will illustrate that even in 2007 AIDS is still alive and how so many of you are starved for affection, defection and love.  That you will believe anything said to you in order to prevail the ends that justify your foolish means. 

Will the infinite pursuit of love make your life insignificant, or is your life simply and miraculously… Priceless?